A Parent's Dictionary
Amnesia -
condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again
Bottle feeding -
an opportunity for Dad to get up at 2:00 am
Drooling -
how teething babies wash their chins
Dumbwaiter -
one who asks if the children would care to order dessert
Feedback -
the inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots
Full name -
what you call your child when you're mad at him
Grandparents -
the people who think your children are wonderful even though they're not sure you're raising them right
Hearsay -
what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word
Independent -
how we want out children to be as long as they do everything we say
Look out! -
what it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it
OW! -
the first word spoken by children with older siblings
Prenatal -
when your life was still somewhat your own
Prepared childbirth -
a contradiction in terms (aka: oxymoron)
Puddle -
a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it
Show off -
a child who is more talented than yours
Sterilize -
what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it
Temper tantrums -
what you should keep to a minimum so as not to upset the kids
Thunderstorm -
a chance to see how many family members can fit into one bed
Top bunk -
where you should never put a child wearing superman pajamas
Two-minute warning -
when the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting sounds
Verbal -
able to whine in words
Weaker sex -
The kind you have after the kids have worn you out (Grin)
Whodunit -
none of the kids that live in your house
Whoops -
an exclamation that translates roughly into get a sponge
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